Author Archives: dlhitzeman

Vampires

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An unfortunate side effect of my current circumstance is that I now have to have regular blood draws to keep track of whatever it is my body is up to. I’ve never been a fan of needles, so this is a cause of no little distress, and I find I’m even more distressed by the fact I’m getting used to being stuck on a regular basis.

I’ve also developed something of a grading system for the quality of the stickers. Part of my aversion to needles is that I have always been a hard stick with soft, rolly veins that often collapse when penetrated by a needle. Finding someone who can get me on the first try is a rare commodity, and I do my best to remember who they are and what they did for future reference.

Today’s sticker was a keeper and used a few tricks I’ve never seen before like using an upside-down blood pressure cuff instead of a tourniquet to help things along. If I’m going to have to do this on some kind of a regular basis, tricks like that are worth remembering.

DLH

Already, the first of what I suspect will be many pauses

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From the beginning, I intended this blog to be a blow-by-blow account of my journey, so there are going to be times when that account may be uncomfortable for some or downright icky. If that’s too much information for you, please do not read on.

That said, my digestive system has been fragile since I got out of the hospital, and I have had to be especially careful with what and how much I put in it, lest it get angry, which it does with a certain ferocity.

Unfortunately for me, I don’t have some kind of indulgence to blame for today’s upsettedness, as far as I can tell. I woke up this morning to system-wide discomfort reminiscent of a stomach bug or the way my allergies sometimes wreak havoc on me. Whatever the cause, in my current fatigued state, it’s taking it out of me.

Not to worry, though, as this feels nothing like the lead up to my bout of pancreatitis. I’m paying very close attention to those signs, as you might imagine. My hope is that this will pass and I can get back to the business at hand soon.

DLH

The biggest thank you

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There is no doubt in my mind that I owe many people a debt of gratitude for putting up with me over the past several years, and especially over the past several weeks.

Without the prayers and thoughts and visits of my family and friends, both near and far, I believe things could have turned out quite differently, and I thank every one of you for your support even when I was not so easily supportable.

But among all of you, no one deserves a bigger thank you than my beautiful wife, Keba. No one else has endured what she has had to endure, and she has done so with a kind of grace and tenacity I can only hope to emulate.

Keba, you have been my constant companion and have loved me when I have not been so easy to love. Without you, I believe I would have let myself go even worse, but for some reason, even when I was at my lowest, you have never stopped believing in me.

Thank you for being here, Keba. Thank you for putting up with me. I love you, and I pray I will not let you down again.

DLH

So, what’s this all about?

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It’s sometimes hard to know where to begin an explanation of something that has been coming my whole adult life, so I will start with the event that triggered the birth of this blog.

A couple of weeks ago, I ended up in the hospital for almost a week as the result of acute pancreatitis brought on by a dangerous elevation of my blood-borne triglycerides. The condition was serious enough the doctors opted to reduce my triglyceride levels by removing them using a process called plasmapheresis. The whole experience was the most intense and painful thing I have ever experienced in my entire life, and I realized that I am willing to do extreme things to never have to experience it again.

That brings me to the reality of how I ended up in that state. The circumstances that lead to my hospitalization were not just the result of some unexplained biological malfunction, although there is also that element to the story. Instead, a large part of how I ended up in that state began decades ago when I, for a variety of reasons I suppose I may get into over the life of this blog, chose to stop taking care of my body.

In fact, over the past decade, I had pretty much given up on taking care of myself at all, most often with the excuse I had more important things to do. I didn’t. Instead, that excuse was worse than an excuse: it was a lie.

This blog will be my documentation of the refutation of that lie. Over the course of the next weeks and months and, perhaps, even years, I plan to document my journey away from the lie of not taking care of myself toward the truth of taking care of myself so I can do all the things I do better. I want to share this journey with anyone who cares to follow along for the accountability of it, for mutual encouragement, and to provide a place to document the things I discover along the way.

As to the name of the blog, once upon a time, I considered myself to be a rambler, or as the Irish call it, a rover. I tend to wander without being lost, and have long believed that the journey is more important than the destination. I suspect my journey back to health will follow the same meandering but purposeful path so many other parts of my life have.

So, this is all about finding my way back to a place I should have never left: healthy and productive. I invite you to join me on that road.

DLH